Lesson Learned

Exactly 2 months and 23 days I got my first memo at work.

Hahahaha. Is what I initially felt. No words could describe it. It was a slap in the face to put me back in place. Lesson learned!

It wasn't really a big deal and what I did was not really heavy when it comes to violating rules. But rules are rules whether it be big or small. And with a head like mine, I tend to dig deeper on the picture and over analyze things.

Here's the picture:

Since I'm basically still in training, we where doing buddy ups for over 2 weeks now. To observe and learn what is actually happening in the office floor. Every shift I am assigned to one tenure agent to observe and learn what I basically have to do once I get to work on the actual environment. It was fun at first but doing it for days made me bored and sleepy. So I would usually stand beside my buddies station to fight off the boredom and sleepiness. Eventually I started bringing a book with me just so I could entertain myself and do something else aside from just observing someone. This week, for 2 consecutive days, we took several exams that would somehow test what we learned for the last 2 months in training. I was able to finish all 21 exams in one whole shift so the next day I was free to roam around the floor doing whatever I want. I guess I still had a hang-over over "doing-nothing-in-the-office" that up until today I went away from my buddy and went somewhere where I'm not supposed to be for HOURS. A supervisor started checking on us and found out some are missing. To cut the story short: I got a memo for not obeying rules!

Grateful, because my trainer has all the patience in the world that I didn't get a scolding or anything of that sort. In fact he informed me how well I was doing in training and my potential as a leader. He informed me that I did wrong but he reminded me of my strengths... That made me think... That made me analyze...

"OUR OBEDIENCE CATCHES GOD'S ATTENTION." (2 Chronicles 16:9)

Today I was reminded once more. If I can't obey simple rules or instructions, then how harder would it be for me to follow bigger rules and  bigger instructions??? How would God entrust me with big things if I easily stumble in the small things??? How can I preach one thing and do another thing that contradicts what my heart believe is right???

Honestly, obedience is easier said than done. It's easier to say "Wait", "I'll do it later" or simply reason out. I tend to want to do it my way instead of doing it the right way. I tend to think I know it all that I could simply decide what I want to do next. But the truth is, I don't! I believe I'm good to do it my way when in fact there's so much more to be learned to make things  better and easier.

In the same way, God wants me to obey with all my heart. To do the things that He wants me to do not because I have to do it but because God is pleased when I obey. God shows me what I did wrong but He also reminds me who I am as His daughter.

So today, I learned my lesson for the n'th time! I choose to get it the harder way and feel embarrassed before I get back to my senses...

But as the cliche goes: "Charge it to experience!"

I'm putting my halo back... =)

xoxo,

Tracey