UNTITLED 12/31/2016

"Why are you single?"
Someone asked me.
A question I've been avoiding
For the longest time.

Because of my standards.
What first came to mind.
But I have other reasons
That I couldn't find.

We have to have the same faith.
That I cannot let go.
I love my God too much.
So he has to be a such.

But upon further inspection
I guess I found my answers
Why am I still single?
Because someone asked me.

This heart is scared
That I am sure of
Not to love
But its disappoitments

What I have witnessed
From people around me
Gave me a glimpse
Of things I don't want to be

I've seen pain
I've seen madness
I've seen tears
I've seen darkness

So I want to take care of my heart
And hold on to a promise
When I surrendered this part
To the author of my life

I've let go of the pen
I am waiting patiently
It might sound foolish
Or an outright idiocy

"Bring him to me When I am ready"
That was the deal I gave
So I'll continue to prepare myself
Till that grand day arrives

So if I'll be asked again
"Why are you single?"
I'll go back to the promise
A promise that was spoken to me

~RTBR (12302016)

**For editing... once the brain works better

I WONDER

I wonder when would someone fill the hollow spaces between my fingers.
Hands entwined in a quiet corner.
Just being there.
No words needed.

I wonder if my longing for tight hugs will ever be satisfied.
Strong arms wrapped around me.
Keeping me warm.
Unafraid of any harm.

I wonder if someone would someday look into my eyes and see through it.
Understand the sparkle.
See beneath the strong facade.
Knows whether I'm happy or sad.

I wonder if this lips will ever experience true loves kiss.
The kind that would create havoc to my system.
Make my feet "pop".
Make my world stop.

I wonder if he exist.
I wonder where he is.

~RTBR (12292016)

Silence

Be still.
Keep quiet.
Succumb into a dreamless sleep.

Get lost.
Alone.
Hide away into the deep.

Go search.
Run away.
There are so many things to keep.

Then I halt.
Silence.
In a dark alley, I weep.

~RTBR (February 2014)

#Coffee (Impromptu topic while driving around)

Yours is a taste that wakes me,

An aroma to my soul.

A darkness that excites me,

When a repose starts to call.

~ RTBR 12262016

I am a Christian

When I say "I am a Christian" 
I'm not shouting "I am saved." 
I'm whispering "I get lost" 
That is why I chose this way.

When I say "I am a Christian" 
I don't speak of this with pride. 
I'm confessing that I stumble 
And need someone to be my guide.

When I say "I am a Christian" 
I'm not trying to be strong. 
I'm professing that I am weak 
And pray for strength to carry on.

When I say "I am a Christian" 
I'm not bragging of success. 
I'm admitting I have failed 
And cannot ever pay the debt.

When I say "I am a Christian" 
I'm not claiming to be perfect. 
My flaws are too visible 
But God believes I'm worth it.

When I say "I am a Christian" 
I still feel the sting of pain. 
I have my share of heartaches 
Which is why I seek HIS name.

When I say "I am a Christian" 
I do not wish to judge. 
I have no authority 
I only know I'm loved.

~ Maya Angelou

For a minute there I lost myself.

It's been a while huh? I got too busy with life that I forgot about you. I probably got too pleased with my life and I finally found people whom I could share "ze personal things" that I no longer need to just tap it out and keep things between you and me.

Oh well... reading my previous entries made me squirm a little. Lol! Aside from my awkward grammar and misspelled words I realized how petty my ramblings where.

I’m coming home, I guess. Not because I’m sad or whatever but because I need to write and document things. I miss this form of release ~ of simply pouring my mind, pouring my emotions out. I didn’t really stop writing. I’ve been writing in paper, scribbles here and there, but I need to actually organize my thoughts. At least be able to produce something worth someone’s time to read.

So here we go! Bear with my ramblings again…